Hello everyone! I know that I have been absent for a very long time--too long if you ask me. And I apologize. It is my fault entirely why I have been gone, and the things that I am going to write about. I accept that fact. And well, I am here to tell you something that I have recently started to understand about God.
God does not disappear. He does not leave, and He does not abandon. I am a huge fan of the band NeedToBreathe. Their song, "Through Smoke" is what God used recently to show me part of who He is, exactly. I know that I will never understand the whole of God and His majesty, but that's okay. We aren't supposed to.
I went through a dark time around this time last year. My mother had told me that she wished she had given me up for adoption when she had the chance, although those weren't the words she used in conversation--those were much worse. I went to a friends house. I was deeply in friendship with this gentleman (he's only 111 months older than I, and we have been dating for 6 years), and he stayed at this family' house. I knew this family and loved being around them. They helped me in many ways with my spiritual journey and supported me in many things I did within the church when my own family did not. When my mother revealed to me how she truly felt about me, I was crushed. I had never felt a hurt so deep, never a wound that bled for so long. I called this family, the wife, her name will not be disclosed, got in her car with her husband and this gentleman of mine, and came to my house to get me. I got in their car, and cried. I sat in the arms of the gentleman (John) for what felt like hours. They took me to lunch, but I couldn't tell you what we talked about, or what I ate; I was so numb, so empty at this point, that I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't appreciate anything. My mother told me to go to this family' house for four days; she said four because she wanted me to be home for Christmas eve, but didn't want to see me until then. So I left, naturally.
To this day, I feel no inclination to engage in conversation or be in the presence of my mother. I feel no pain, no happiness, no joy around her. Upon my returning home, I began cutting. A lot. I cut my legs on a daily basis. It felt like if I could tear away all the flesh on my body, maybe I could be a different person and she wouldn't hate me, maybe she would want me. After a while, I sought help. I talked to many people about what I was doing and why, and I refused to shower or shave for days. I took sponge-baths instead or showers, and wore pants every day and every night. Eventually, God saved me like He always had. He reached down, and placed people in my life to mirror what He had in-store for me. A dear friend from Georgia, a close friend that taught me to use my voice, and multiple bands messaging me on Twitter and Facebook with words of encouragement and prayers for support and healing.
Over the summer, I went on a mission trip to CT, and God really opened my eyes to His glory and how good it feels to serve Him. He fed my soul everyday for the entire week. I was full of fire and brimstone, bubbling over with excitement. I knew that because I had God on MY side, I would be okay in every and any situation.
Then, the world came crashing down all around me. Encasing me in a place I was unfamiliar with, but felt every corner of every wall, and every crack in all the floorboards. I stopped reading my Bible, and sin filled my life. I was caught red handed satisfying my momentary desires instead of waiting for my eternal directions. I have been lost. I have been hiding. I have disappeared behind everything I can see--behind my cloud of smoke. I am no longer able to see, hear, or feel God. And I am dying without Him. I am trying desperately to do what I know how to, which is not much. I have a devotional that I began a day ago, I keep my Bible on me at all times, although I haven't quite gotten around to reading it again yet. I listen to the christian music radio station, waiting and hoping on a song that God will use to speak to me and give me direction and guidance. I pray. I am being attacked on all fronts by the Devil, and I cannot get him to leave me alone. The things I see and hear and feel are thing no person outside of the realm of Christ could ever comprehend. I am dead. I am dying. I am disappearing behind my own wall of smoke and now it is choking me and suffocating me until I near death. I am waiting in a quiet place for directions. My prayers are earnest and questioning. I cannot bring myself to attend Sunday church services, although I know I desperately need to go.
I am at a loss. I am waiting for someone, anyone, to find me in this cloud. I am waiting for God to come and rescue me from my own destructive behavior. If you get the chance, I hope you will hear the song "Through Smoke" by NeedToBreathe. And when you do, I hope you get as much out of it as I did.
Thank you.
God Bless.
-Cheyenne
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Brian! (A friend of mine.)
Next Generation Evangelistic Network: College Students Changing the World One Project at...: Not to sound arrogant, but I am very proud of myself and my friends. Though we are all 22 years old or less, we have bucked the "live...
Fear Is A Strange Thing.
Fear.
I don't know why I get so afraid all the time. God is with me always. And He promises that he who is in us is greater than he who is in the world.
This post is short, and not very meaty. But it's something.
Remember, God gives us a command to follow Jesus Christ and die. To make disciples of all nations and do whatever He commands us to do. And if we are executed for doing so--he who loses his life here on Earth will gain it eternally in Heaven.
I don't know if that means anything to any of you, or if it just sounds like a big jumbled up mess. But I felt the need to say that.
Thanks again for reading.
-Cheyenne
I don't know why I get so afraid all the time. God is with me always. And He promises that he who is in us is greater than he who is in the world.
This post is short, and not very meaty. But it's something.
Remember, God gives us a command to follow Jesus Christ and die. To make disciples of all nations and do whatever He commands us to do. And if we are executed for doing so--he who loses his life here on Earth will gain it eternally in Heaven.
I don't know if that means anything to any of you, or if it just sounds like a big jumbled up mess. But I felt the need to say that.
Thanks again for reading.
-Cheyenne
How Great Thou Art
*disclaimer* yes, the title of this post, is the title of a song. It's a hymn covered by Ascend the Hill. I do not own the song, any words or phrases in the song, I do not own the title, the cover song by Ascend the Hill, or the original hymn. If I offend you, I'm sorry in advance, and I don't mean to. *disclaimer (end)*
Okay...so, I don't write on this blog as much as I do my other one, but that's okay. This one has a purpose, where as the other one is really just venting about all my problems. Which.....leads me to to-days post.
So, I still haven't finished Follow Me yet, but I am working on it. I have to read two other books, and do a whole bunch of literary analysis and what not on them both and compare/contrast the books before school starts in August. And (if you haven't noticed by the consistency of my blog postings) I procrastinate...a lot. But, I have learned a lot from the little bit that I have read so far. And looking back, God has a funny was of doing things. I am positive He has stopped my reading of Follow Me for a specific reason.
A couple weeks ago, a friend of mine was teaching the youth group lesson. He recently graduated college and is preparing to go to seminary to become a youth minister. He's a pretty cool dude. But anyways, his message was powerful, and it moved everyone in the audience (all 70 of the youth). And several people were brought to tears. It was about giving God your sins and letting Him take care of them. Letting go of the pain and suffering that comes with sin. The lesson was great, and it was eye opening. My very close friend (we'll call her C), was crying her heart out. Her and I have struggled with self-harm for a very long time, what feels like an eternity. Unlike me, her self-harm was solely cutting. And we have had a very difficult time letting go of the way it makes us feel. For her, it was control. For me, it was a high. We struggle through this on a daily basis. She was crying and crying and crying...and I didn't know what to say to help her feel better.
Then something weird happened (get this)...I started praying out loud for her. If you know me personally, you know I have a phobia of speaking and/or performing in front of other people (even if it is just one person). But, in spite of that, I began praying, out loud, for C. And then, our friend (let's name her B) came over and started praying, too. Then another girl on our mission team came over, and in less than a minute, all of the girls on our mission team were in a giant group hug (that's basically what it looked liked) and we laid hands on each other and were praying with each other for not just C, but for each other as well, and every one else who was/is hurting. It was the coolest thing in the world to be apart of, yet at the same time, for someone so introverted, it was the strangest thing (the good kind of strange).
In the book, David talks about prayer. And Terry (my old pastor that moved away to plant a new church) talked (and still does talk) about prayer. It's so weird to me still. Not the kind of weird the makes people think 'oh wow, this is weird. I'm not gonna do this anymore.' kind of weird. But the kind of weird that catches your attention; the kind that makes you want to try again, keep going until you figure out the whole puzzle. Like a riddle. Most people don't stop thinking about a riddle until they've found the solution. I had seen the way that prayer was and should be applied in my life. Not just when things are bad, or when it's convenient, and most certainly not just because it's what "Christians do". We should pray daily, hourly, every second should be a second spent in God's presence, talking WITH Him (not to Him).
I remember maybe a year or two ago, Terry was teaching the youth group lesson (mind you, I was a naive little 14 year old girl then), and he asked us "What is prayer?". A few hands shot up with answers like 'the way we talk to God', 'our way to God'--stuff like that. So, when I was called upon to give my answer, I said it was our way of talking with God. We ask Him questions, and we listen and get answers. And that began the lesson. Prayer is not just our way of talking to God, it's our way of listening to what God is saying to us.
Another thing I've learned from this book is death. Not just...spiritual death, but dying to myself.
I am one of 'those' people who like to fix everything for everyone. Make everything better, put band-aids on all the boo-boo's. When I was reading Follow Me, David points out that we need to die to ourselves in order to let God do what He is going to do. I talked to so many people about this. My mom, my friend T (we won't name her), some of the other mission team members; everyone who came to me asking what they should do, I told them they needed to die to themselves and just STOP messing around and trying to fix everything. Because as humans, and because we are NOT God, we CANNOT fix anything. The more we try to fix it, the more it's going to fail. I told so many people this, and I thought I was applying it in my own life, until about a week ago when my friend from Georgia (a youth pastor intern for our sister church in a neighboring town) started talking to me about everything that had happened in my life since we had been out of touch. He told me "this too shall pass". I had heard this phrase over a million times, over and over, and I NEVER thought anything about it until then. When he said it, he had tears in his eyes. He told me what David Platt had explained in his book. My friend (lets call him D) had turned everything I had soaked up from the book (intended to use during the mission trip as discipleship tools and sharing the Good News), he took all of that, and turned into something that made sense.
I don't want to say that D turned me into a disciple, but more he was used by God to turn me into a disciple. He just...I don't even kn ow how to explain it. It was one of those INCREDIBLE God moments where everything just falls into place. And that was the first example I was given.
I was having a conversation with T a few weeks ago (after the powerful youth group lesson), and she started crying. Her mother had made her tell the guy she likes that she was not aloud to talk to him anymore, and T was very upset because she knew that the guy she liked was mad at her. It wasn't T's fault, but he didn't know what had happened. And T couldn't talk to him and explain what had happened and why she had to send that message. The same thing happened. I prayed out loud. Spontaneously. It was a great feeling. Letting God work through me, and bring together all the pieces that had just been laying around in my head. We talked for a good 20-30 minutes, and at the end, we prayed again. We prayed and asked God to guide her. We prayed and talked with God about how frustrating it is not being able to know why or how the bad things that happen to us are going to be used for the better. But we know God has promised that He has a perfect plan for us, and that it's not always going to be pretty and fun and easy, but it will be worth it, and it is, in fact, beyond our comprehension. We prayed. We talked with God. And after, you could see the difference. You could see a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and it brought tears to my eyes.
God showed me things in the book Follow Me by David Platt that I was/am to use on the mission trip to share His love, and the Good News, and my testimony and the things I have witnessed God do. And then, instead of leaving me to my own devices, He used myself as an example to what these things will look like. He showed me what they meant, and how He uses them. He did a miracle in me, and then a miracle in others using me.
The greatest thing the book has taught me, is that dying isn't something followers of Jesus Christ should be afraid of, or take lightly, or sugar coat because we are going to Heaven. It's something we should embrace daily. We should die to ourselves daily so that we can let God do works in us, as well as through us in others.
God works in mysterious ways.
Thanks for reading, guys (general audience).
-Cheyenne
Okay...so, I don't write on this blog as much as I do my other one, but that's okay. This one has a purpose, where as the other one is really just venting about all my problems. Which.....leads me to to-days post.
So, I still haven't finished Follow Me yet, but I am working on it. I have to read two other books, and do a whole bunch of literary analysis and what not on them both and compare/contrast the books before school starts in August. And (if you haven't noticed by the consistency of my blog postings) I procrastinate...a lot. But, I have learned a lot from the little bit that I have read so far. And looking back, God has a funny was of doing things. I am positive He has stopped my reading of Follow Me for a specific reason.
A couple weeks ago, a friend of mine was teaching the youth group lesson. He recently graduated college and is preparing to go to seminary to become a youth minister. He's a pretty cool dude. But anyways, his message was powerful, and it moved everyone in the audience (all 70 of the youth). And several people were brought to tears. It was about giving God your sins and letting Him take care of them. Letting go of the pain and suffering that comes with sin. The lesson was great, and it was eye opening. My very close friend (we'll call her C), was crying her heart out. Her and I have struggled with self-harm for a very long time, what feels like an eternity. Unlike me, her self-harm was solely cutting. And we have had a very difficult time letting go of the way it makes us feel. For her, it was control. For me, it was a high. We struggle through this on a daily basis. She was crying and crying and crying...and I didn't know what to say to help her feel better.
Then something weird happened (get this)...I started praying out loud for her. If you know me personally, you know I have a phobia of speaking and/or performing in front of other people (even if it is just one person). But, in spite of that, I began praying, out loud, for C. And then, our friend (let's name her B) came over and started praying, too. Then another girl on our mission team came over, and in less than a minute, all of the girls on our mission team were in a giant group hug (that's basically what it looked liked) and we laid hands on each other and were praying with each other for not just C, but for each other as well, and every one else who was/is hurting. It was the coolest thing in the world to be apart of, yet at the same time, for someone so introverted, it was the strangest thing (the good kind of strange).
In the book, David talks about prayer. And Terry (my old pastor that moved away to plant a new church) talked (and still does talk) about prayer. It's so weird to me still. Not the kind of weird the makes people think 'oh wow, this is weird. I'm not gonna do this anymore.' kind of weird. But the kind of weird that catches your attention; the kind that makes you want to try again, keep going until you figure out the whole puzzle. Like a riddle. Most people don't stop thinking about a riddle until they've found the solution. I had seen the way that prayer was and should be applied in my life. Not just when things are bad, or when it's convenient, and most certainly not just because it's what "Christians do". We should pray daily, hourly, every second should be a second spent in God's presence, talking WITH Him (not to Him).
I remember maybe a year or two ago, Terry was teaching the youth group lesson (mind you, I was a naive little 14 year old girl then), and he asked us "What is prayer?". A few hands shot up with answers like 'the way we talk to God', 'our way to God'--stuff like that. So, when I was called upon to give my answer, I said it was our way of talking with God. We ask Him questions, and we listen and get answers. And that began the lesson. Prayer is not just our way of talking to God, it's our way of listening to what God is saying to us.
Another thing I've learned from this book is death. Not just...spiritual death, but dying to myself.
I am one of 'those' people who like to fix everything for everyone. Make everything better, put band-aids on all the boo-boo's. When I was reading Follow Me, David points out that we need to die to ourselves in order to let God do what He is going to do. I talked to so many people about this. My mom, my friend T (we won't name her), some of the other mission team members; everyone who came to me asking what they should do, I told them they needed to die to themselves and just STOP messing around and trying to fix everything. Because as humans, and because we are NOT God, we CANNOT fix anything. The more we try to fix it, the more it's going to fail. I told so many people this, and I thought I was applying it in my own life, until about a week ago when my friend from Georgia (a youth pastor intern for our sister church in a neighboring town) started talking to me about everything that had happened in my life since we had been out of touch. He told me "this too shall pass". I had heard this phrase over a million times, over and over, and I NEVER thought anything about it until then. When he said it, he had tears in his eyes. He told me what David Platt had explained in his book. My friend (lets call him D) had turned everything I had soaked up from the book (intended to use during the mission trip as discipleship tools and sharing the Good News), he took all of that, and turned into something that made sense.
I don't want to say that D turned me into a disciple, but more he was used by God to turn me into a disciple. He just...I don't even kn ow how to explain it. It was one of those INCREDIBLE God moments where everything just falls into place. And that was the first example I was given.
I was having a conversation with T a few weeks ago (after the powerful youth group lesson), and she started crying. Her mother had made her tell the guy she likes that she was not aloud to talk to him anymore, and T was very upset because she knew that the guy she liked was mad at her. It wasn't T's fault, but he didn't know what had happened. And T couldn't talk to him and explain what had happened and why she had to send that message. The same thing happened. I prayed out loud. Spontaneously. It was a great feeling. Letting God work through me, and bring together all the pieces that had just been laying around in my head. We talked for a good 20-30 minutes, and at the end, we prayed again. We prayed and asked God to guide her. We prayed and talked with God about how frustrating it is not being able to know why or how the bad things that happen to us are going to be used for the better. But we know God has promised that He has a perfect plan for us, and that it's not always going to be pretty and fun and easy, but it will be worth it, and it is, in fact, beyond our comprehension. We prayed. We talked with God. And after, you could see the difference. You could see a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and it brought tears to my eyes.
God showed me things in the book Follow Me by David Platt that I was/am to use on the mission trip to share His love, and the Good News, and my testimony and the things I have witnessed God do. And then, instead of leaving me to my own devices, He used myself as an example to what these things will look like. He showed me what they meant, and how He uses them. He did a miracle in me, and then a miracle in others using me.
The greatest thing the book has taught me, is that dying isn't something followers of Jesus Christ should be afraid of, or take lightly, or sugar coat because we are going to Heaven. It's something we should embrace daily. We should die to ourselves daily so that we can let God do works in us, as well as through us in others.
God works in mysterious ways.
Thanks for reading, guys (general audience).
-Cheyenne
Sunday, May 26, 2013
"In matters of love, one must go himself." D. Platt
So...I really don't know how to title these. On my other blog, it's easy. Because I'm really just venting and I can usually sum it up in a few words. Or, if not, I can just make it completely random. So...I guess I am just going to use random words from now on. Or quotes. Depending.
So, in pursuit of life. I guess would be the way to say it. I started reading this book called "Follow Me" by David Platt. And I really like it. I haven't really gotten much out of it for my own sake, other than in order to live like Jesus, I have to die everyday. I have to die to myself daily and let Jesus do the walking and talking.
But, what I have been getting out of the book lately is ways to get this idea across to others. And this is really important to me because I am going on a mission trip to CT this summer, and I am going to be hanging out with a lot of the local teens in the area. And I am sure that many of them could use a friend, and someone to show them what God's love can do and all that. But that's really not the ONLY thing that God wants us to share. And this book, has really cleaned a few windows.
So, I was reading a little yesterday, and here are some of the basic things I pulled out of what I read.
The first one is, that we need to realize that Jesus pursued us. We did NOT pursue Him. Even if we did, it wouldn't have gotten us very far. He came and pursued and chased after us himself. He did not send someone else, and he didn't wait for us to go to him. He came for us himself.
Proposal is an example that David uses in his book, which is a very good example once you stop and think about it.
A man wants to marry his significant other. Because he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Makes sense, right? So, he walks up to her, and he gets on one knee, pulls out a ring, and asks her to marry him. He went on his own, by himself, to ask her a question that will change her life forever. Jesus did the exact same thing.
Jesus loves us. To the point where HE came to US, to show to us just how much he loves us. He came to us, and personally extended his invitation to us. A great line that David says in this book, he said "In matters of love, one my go himself." Which is true. You don't send a stranger off the street to propose, or to ask a date to the prom. You go and do it yourself.
So, in pursuit of life. I guess would be the way to say it. I started reading this book called "Follow Me" by David Platt. And I really like it. I haven't really gotten much out of it for my own sake, other than in order to live like Jesus, I have to die everyday. I have to die to myself daily and let Jesus do the walking and talking.
But, what I have been getting out of the book lately is ways to get this idea across to others. And this is really important to me because I am going on a mission trip to CT this summer, and I am going to be hanging out with a lot of the local teens in the area. And I am sure that many of them could use a friend, and someone to show them what God's love can do and all that. But that's really not the ONLY thing that God wants us to share. And this book, has really cleaned a few windows.
So, I was reading a little yesterday, and here are some of the basic things I pulled out of what I read.
The first one is, that we need to realize that Jesus pursued us. We did NOT pursue Him. Even if we did, it wouldn't have gotten us very far. He came and pursued and chased after us himself. He did not send someone else, and he didn't wait for us to go to him. He came for us himself.
Proposal is an example that David uses in his book, which is a very good example once you stop and think about it.
A man wants to marry his significant other. Because he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Makes sense, right? So, he walks up to her, and he gets on one knee, pulls out a ring, and asks her to marry him. He went on his own, by himself, to ask her a question that will change her life forever. Jesus did the exact same thing.
Jesus loves us. To the point where HE came to US, to show to us just how much he loves us. He came to us, and personally extended his invitation to us. A great line that David says in this book, he said "In matters of love, one my go himself." Which is true. You don't send a stranger off the street to propose, or to ask a date to the prom. You go and do it yourself.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Hello!
Sorry it's been a while, to those of you who are so wonderfully checking back in. I have been struggling with an addiction to self-harm and bulimia. And, I have started the long process of dismantling those habits, and those addictions, and the emotions and things that caused them. I am dealing with them. Through God. Well, really He is dealing with them.
So, today, after having a serious talk with God about it all. I was given some missing pieces. Which is key to this post. I only started reading a few pages more into "Follow Me". But really, that's all I needed to confirm this. It's the part that ties the whole lesson together.
The sentence I left off on was: "What does repentance look like in their lives?"
Meaning us 'Christians' here in the Western part of the world.
When you think about worshiping something, you think about people who worship statues and dictators and things. Yeah, that is a form of worshiping, but God says that nothing is more important than Him. And if something in your life is taking precedence over him, than you are worshiping it. Because God doesn't share the stage with any one.
So, those people who struggle with any addiction, whether it be porn, self-harm, eating disorders, sports, getting mad when things don't go how we think they should go, getting all worked up when things change, just stupid things we don't think about. Even our relationships; boyfriend/girlfriend, marriages, friends, if these things take place before God, and we all do it (obviously not intentionally I hope), it's worshiping that thing. Because God is the only one worthy of our devout attention like that.
So, that probably didn't make any sense, but that's okay.
I just kind of realized, over the course of the things I've been going through lately, that I had a problem, and I placed worrying about it and obsessing over it, before God. And I needed to talk to Him about it and get right with him. So I did. And I thought I would share this with you all. Thanks for reading guys. c:
Sincerely,
Me.
So, today, after having a serious talk with God about it all. I was given some missing pieces. Which is key to this post. I only started reading a few pages more into "Follow Me". But really, that's all I needed to confirm this. It's the part that ties the whole lesson together.
The sentence I left off on was: "What does repentance look like in their lives?"
Meaning us 'Christians' here in the Western part of the world.
When you think about worshiping something, you think about people who worship statues and dictators and things. Yeah, that is a form of worshiping, but God says that nothing is more important than Him. And if something in your life is taking precedence over him, than you are worshiping it. Because God doesn't share the stage with any one.
So, those people who struggle with any addiction, whether it be porn, self-harm, eating disorders, sports, getting mad when things don't go how we think they should go, getting all worked up when things change, just stupid things we don't think about. Even our relationships; boyfriend/girlfriend, marriages, friends, if these things take place before God, and we all do it (obviously not intentionally I hope), it's worshiping that thing. Because God is the only one worthy of our devout attention like that.
So, that probably didn't make any sense, but that's okay.
I just kind of realized, over the course of the things I've been going through lately, that I had a problem, and I placed worrying about it and obsessing over it, before God. And I needed to talk to Him about it and get right with him. So I did. And I thought I would share this with you all. Thanks for reading guys. c:
Sincerely,
Me.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Follow Me
So, I have started reading the book Follow Me by David Platt. And I decided to start a blog about my journey through the book and how I apply it to my daily life. Sounded good to me.
I am almost to the end of chapter 1. And I have read the prologue, so I thought I could do some notes after each chapter.
Prologue:
"I am convinced that certain qualities should always be true of Christians and the church." (page ix)
I was hit by this for a number of reasons, but mostly because I have always thought the same thing. But was never able to really put it into words. In the rest of the paragraph above this quote, he (Francis Chan, the author of the prologue,) talks about how what he read in the Bible felt really inconsistent. And how his life, was nothing like the life of Jesus. I relate to this extremely well because my life (after cross examination) does not line up with Jesus' either. I knew that I would get a lot of this book, and that God was trying to tell me something BIG. SO, I kept reading.
"I told people to make disciples while I spent my days dealing with problems and preparing sermons." (pg x) Immediately I thought of something I had learned at my leadership program this past summer: to lead by example. And I had started to. But then things got complicated in life, as they always do. I started to slip up. Not that there is anything wrong by that, because we all do (that's why we're the humans and God is God). But what is wrong with slipping up, is that I still continued to ACT like I was leading by example. When in reality, I was leading the people who looked up to in the COMPLETE WRONG direction. I didn't look to God first as I should have. I was sure that life would be okay, and that everything would be okay. And as Francis goes on to say "It's weird how uncertainty can actually bring peace while ease causes the opposite." (pg x), I found it true. I was so sure, that when it didn't get better when I thought for sure that it would, I got anxious and panicked. Versus if I had just turned to God and followed the example that Jesus gave me, I would've had a lot more peace in my life at this time.
Chapter 1: Unconverted Believers
This chapter talks mostly about dying to yourself every day. And that when Jesus said "Follow me.", he wasn't talking about just saying a prayer and being a good person.
"Jesus said, 'Slay yourself.'" (pg 3)I was kind of taken back at this. I have never read this verse, nor heard of it in church or at a conference. Never have I heard of this being said by Jesus. But after I looked it up, I saw it. In this section, David Platt shows that that is what happened to the fisher man Jesus had called to follow Him. "Peter was crucified upside down, Andrew was crucified in Greece, James was beheaded,and John was exiled." (pg 3).It just kind of hit me that being a Christian is more serious than the people at church let on. And then I got mad because I am supposed to learn from these people. I felt kind of stupid after because I was so focused on following the way they acted rather than Jesus. It all kind of ran through my mind at once.
There's a lot of notes I took in this chapter, but I think this is enough for now. If you are curious as to what other notes were taken on this chapter, feel free to comment and I will post them.
I am almost to the end of chapter 1. And I have read the prologue, so I thought I could do some notes after each chapter.
Prologue:
"I am convinced that certain qualities should always be true of Christians and the church." (page ix)
I was hit by this for a number of reasons, but mostly because I have always thought the same thing. But was never able to really put it into words. In the rest of the paragraph above this quote, he (Francis Chan, the author of the prologue,) talks about how what he read in the Bible felt really inconsistent. And how his life, was nothing like the life of Jesus. I relate to this extremely well because my life (after cross examination) does not line up with Jesus' either. I knew that I would get a lot of this book, and that God was trying to tell me something BIG. SO, I kept reading.
"I told people to make disciples while I spent my days dealing with problems and preparing sermons." (pg x) Immediately I thought of something I had learned at my leadership program this past summer: to lead by example. And I had started to. But then things got complicated in life, as they always do. I started to slip up. Not that there is anything wrong by that, because we all do (that's why we're the humans and God is God). But what is wrong with slipping up, is that I still continued to ACT like I was leading by example. When in reality, I was leading the people who looked up to in the COMPLETE WRONG direction. I didn't look to God first as I should have. I was sure that life would be okay, and that everything would be okay. And as Francis goes on to say "It's weird how uncertainty can actually bring peace while ease causes the opposite." (pg x), I found it true. I was so sure, that when it didn't get better when I thought for sure that it would, I got anxious and panicked. Versus if I had just turned to God and followed the example that Jesus gave me, I would've had a lot more peace in my life at this time.
Chapter 1: Unconverted Believers
This chapter talks mostly about dying to yourself every day. And that when Jesus said "Follow me.", he wasn't talking about just saying a prayer and being a good person.
"Jesus said, 'Slay yourself.'" (pg 3)I was kind of taken back at this. I have never read this verse, nor heard of it in church or at a conference. Never have I heard of this being said by Jesus. But after I looked it up, I saw it. In this section, David Platt shows that that is what happened to the fisher man Jesus had called to follow Him. "Peter was crucified upside down, Andrew was crucified in Greece, James was beheaded,and John was exiled." (pg 3).It just kind of hit me that being a Christian is more serious than the people at church let on. And then I got mad because I am supposed to learn from these people. I felt kind of stupid after because I was so focused on following the way they acted rather than Jesus. It all kind of ran through my mind at once.
There's a lot of notes I took in this chapter, but I think this is enough for now. If you are curious as to what other notes were taken on this chapter, feel free to comment and I will post them.
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